Super Bowl Sunday often doesn’t live up to the hype, although the last decade was (mostly) kind to both TJSmoov and myself. The bottom line is the game will likely involve two teams you care little about or worse, hate. Many people watch for the commercials, but in the era of online video, it’s unlikely you’re going to see something funnier than that YouTube link your aunt gchatted you last Thursday.
Luckily the Super Bowl represents yet another opportunity for Americans to gorge themselves guilt-free on processed snacks, deep-fried delights and maybe a veggie platter with ranch dip if you’re feeling health-conscious. An added bonus is that your boss won’t be that mad at you if you show up to work hungover on Monday. How many days out of the year can you say that?
Below are the Great Eater blog’s recommended best practices for gorging yourself like a pig on Super Bowl Sunday:
1. Host the party. In addition to allowing you to strategically hide beers and food in deeper parts of your fridge, easy access to your bed can be necessary if you become trapped in a food coma and need a halftime power nap. Also you get to try all the dishes as they get brought over, giving you the opportunity to pick out all-star hors d’oeuvres and plan your attack accordingly. Plus you get the added benefit of getting to…
2. Call a good seat. Ideally you’ll have easy access to the food with a clear view of the game. If your team is in the Super Bowl, I recommend clearing a little space for you to pace around nervously. If you aren’t hosting a party, get to the location as early as possible to stake your claim. I remember at least an hour before the official start time.
3. Make at least two dishes. I’m lucky enough to have a group of friends who will bring their A game to the festivities tomorrow. I fully expect multiple delicious dips and desserts to fill my belly. But I also know that other people don’t put as much pride into their cooking as my peeps.
So the only way to ensure that you won’t get stuck eating popcorn and Pizza Hut is to make your own dishes. If you’re looking for easy, I recommend guacamole. Easy enough, but made fresh, it’s always a winner. And get creative with your dips. Spinach and artichoke is always a winner, but last year I went for Buffalo Chicken Dip. That shit is food crack. This year I’m staying with the Chili’s menu dip theme and making some mean Jalapeño Popper Dip. Both recipes can be found at the Noble Pig.
4. Make sure there’s pizza. The Super Bowl without pizza is like Thanksgiving without turkey. And don’t settle for your garden variety chain. Would you get Boston Market on Thanksgiving? (Ok that’d probably be delicious.) Get deep dish if you’re in Chicago or thin crust if you’re on the East Coast. Or make your own pizza, like we are this year. And by we I mean my culinary-inclined roommate and guest blogger Stuball321! I will eat it however.
5. Drink the right amount. Don’t drink so much that you get bloated and miss out on cookies or cupcakes. But definitely drink enough that any stomach pains are numbed and you don’t have a problem farting in a room full of people you barely know.
Follow these steps, and you should have a Great Eater’s Super Bowl. Enjoy the game, and I’ll provide an update of how my eating went next week.












