I saw a Seinfeld episode once where Kramer brought his own syrup to a restaurant and the owner of the restaurant got upset with him. This seems to make sense on the surface but on the flip side, shouldn’t a restaurant want you to bring your own sauce? They don’t charge you for sauce, so really, they are just losing money for every dip of your fries into their barbecue sauce as opposed to your own. Now I guess maybe there are health code violations or something, but damnit, shouldn’t it be my right to bring my own sauce?
The only time I have ever actually brought my own sauce was when I brought Sweet Baby Rays to an all inclusive in Cancun. They have a buffet with sub-par barbecue sauce (It’s hard to compete with Sweet Baby Rays), but all you can eat chicken nuggets. It was a no brainer.
What about when I’m eating Hard Times Chili? They give you a little tub of sour cream to put on the chili and I think they will bring you more, but I don’t wanna have to ask. I want it all on there right now. Sometimes the waiter or waitress won’t come by for a while and my food would get cold if I didn’t eat it. Wouldn’t it be better if I just brought my own sour cream?
Oh, and get this. This past week, I went to a certain unnamed restaurant that, while a great place I would recommend to all, does not carry either barbecue sauce or honeymustard! What am I supposed to dip my fries in man?!
I have decided that I am going to start bringing my own sauce to places and report back to our loyal readers on what happens. I would like to apologize in advance to my wife if this embarrasses her, but I’m doing it in the name of improving the eating experience, so I hope she understands. I will try to be inconspicuous. Here is the proposed list:
1) Sour cream and jalapenos to Hard Times. Hard Times only has the chopped up Jalapenos and I want to bring the slices that are soaking in jalapeno juice.
2) Wing Sauce to a pizza place. I generally only use World Harbors wing sauce on my pizza, and they don’t sell it in supermarkets anywhere that I know of so I have to order it online in these 64 oz jugs. This may not be so easy to conceal.
3) Sweet Baby Rays to a fast food joint. The chance of them even noticing let alone having an issue is minimal.
4) I’d like to get some of that Great American Restaurants butter (maybe I can make my own?) and bring it to a place that serves bread before the meal. This could be tough though since butter would melt pretty easily.
I’d like to try more but these were all I was able to come up with this quickly. Please give me any suggestions you might have!








